Happy Birthday to me

Yes, today is again another birthday for me. I honestly have mixed feelings about my birthday in general. I love the attention but sometimes when I think about it I get ill to my stomach. I think "Ugh! Where is all the time going". I feel like a huge chunk of my life is now gone and it is all slipping away from me way too fast. Last year I turned 40 and it was rough. This year though seems to be a bit more difficult to deal with. I am no longer 40 and I am now in my 40s. It is like something inside of me changed and now I am all grown up. Things I did so many years ago still seem like just a few years ago in my head. The good friends I have right now have been my friends for more than 10 years. My 20 year high school reunion has long since past.

Do not get me wrong, I still act like a kid and try to have as much fun as possible. I just feel like things are really different starting this year. We are headed to a family reunion this weekend and I was trying to decide what to wear. I was out looking for a new outfit and all I could think was "im too old to wear that". Those thoughts would have never entered my mind before. I am just not sure how to take it all. Am I overreacting or is this really the time when things change? My husband tells me that 40 is the new 30. Seriously?!? I am not sure I even know what the heck that means. Either way you slice it I am officially in my 40s and 40 whole years of my life are a part of my past. I guess that is just his way of trying to make me feel better.