Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lies and friendship

The other day I was hanging out with a friend of mine. We were chatting and catching up on several things when she mentioned something to me that got me thinking. Her daughter and another little girl were very close and playing together all the time. The moms had started becoming really good friends too. They are no longer friends though because the other little girl has a really big issue with lying. So much so that her own little girl was starting to act out too. Apparently every time this little girl would leave her house the other mom would end up calling about a situation that was said to have happened. My friend would explain the real situation yet the lies told by the little girl would win out in the end.

It really got me thinking. These two families were becoming very close. Now they are more distant than ever. Is it really that hard to phathom that your child possibly has an issue? Are we as mothers sometimes too blinded by our adoration for our children to really look and see the potential flaws. Our friends are there for us to help us get through times like this. I absolutely understand our maternal instincts to defend and protect our children. I desperately want to believe that when my kids leave my sight they are perfect little angels. I try to teach them to be polite and respectful to everyone. I adore them but I also realize they are far from perfect. I would want to know if my child has an issue like this. Heading off the problem immediately is the best way I believe to stop it dead in its tracks.

I just think it is very unfortunate that these two little girls who were becoming the best of friends are now separated by lies. I guess I wish that I could better understand it. Could it be that we feel we are letting our children down by believing they are capable of lies and manipulation? Perhaps somehow we are failing them as mother? Maybe we are afraid that if we look too hard we might see that it really comes from an example set by us? Whatever the reason, it got me thinking more about my kids and how I am raising them. I am by far not a perfect mother and there is plenty of room for improvement. I just hope I am doing a good enough job at giving them the tools they need to grow up happy and healthy.

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